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In remembrance

I was 16 years old when the towers fell. I watch them from a small room with only six other classmates from Florida. The only thing I did that wasn’t selfish at the moment was take a look outside to see the powerplant across the river from us and think oh shit we no longer live in a bubble. The remainder of the day went selfishly to my 16-year-old brain. I worried about if I would be drafted, would my boyfriend be drafted, would my brothers ever get old enough to have to be drafted of the drafting take place now?I didn’t think about the people that lost their lives or were running for their lives at the time I was just so shellshocked from the whole thing.I mean I watched it from A television screen from a sunny state. We didn’t do anything we just stared at the screen nobody talk to us about it we just kind of disconnected from the situation.

Now that I’m 30 years old on this anniversary I do think about it all the time not just on the actual September 11 I think about it during the week I think about it when I’m trying to sleep at nine I think about it when I’m at the grocery store I think about it when I’m in the shower. I think about the documentaries made about the following man and how horrible it is that somebody made a documentary about him. I don’t watch it because it scares me to watch something of such a personal nature however it could be put in a good light I suppose I just can’t bring myself to watch a man in such pain in terror and panic and know that his life has been taken so long ago and I watched on TV live him falling from the building.

I walk around downtown all the time. I look up at the buildings and I think about how my downtown area is a measly one block of New York City. I actually reflected most on this day yesterday. The last rescue dog’s birthday was the other day. On this day I think we should be reminded of all the people that lost their lives innocently or bravely with her it was trying to save others in the building trying to just remove themselves from the situation and all of the animals I have no idea what it’s like to live a life other than saving us when we need it. 9/11 is more than just a tragic day because every day is pretty tragic when you look at other countries and situations they are dealing with that 11 is a day that has remind us that no in fact we are not invincible and we do not live in a bubble and things do happen to our country that are not seen on such a catastrophic level. 

9/11 is a day for us to be more aware of our situations and to remember those who are loved and lost and continue living our lives while thinking of those that continue to  go out of their way to do things for us that are right.I also think that we should think of those children who suddenly became adults in the situation that they did not need to be five-year-old 10-year-old 16-year-old needs to grow up suddenly losing their parents in a situation you can’t even explain. I’ve read articles about many have decided to follow the footsteps of the parents they have lost and I am so deeply proud from so many states away. I know that I am a nameless faceless person to them but to think of them and know that they are doing such a beautiful thing and continuing to save lives for people selflessly like their parents did. In a world where massive stereo scares the crap out of me all I can think about is the things that we need to do to continue to save humanity and I believe that 9/11 is a perfect example of losing and having humanity all at the same time. So today, I remember. But I still choose to remember it everyday just like I have in the past.

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